Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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