I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
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There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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