why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize