how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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