Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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