is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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