Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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