Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
