If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
