is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
