I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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