so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
