some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
