2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
