She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize