How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She announced her abortion via fbk
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
