i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
