Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
