YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
