My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
