I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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