No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
