I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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