I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
