ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
