oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Holy sore nipples Batman
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
