And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize