Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
