It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
