Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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