There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
