we're blogging at a bar
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
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fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
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I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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