Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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