Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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