And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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