my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
