That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize