your room smells of hookers.
And success
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
