I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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