Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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