i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
