Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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