why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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