Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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