Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
