the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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