I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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