Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
