i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
