a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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