Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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