Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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