I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
