Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
