She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize