Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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