i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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