Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
