Will you blow on my dice?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
