ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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