Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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