I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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