I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
