so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize