these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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