We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Soap is not a condiment
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
