do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize