the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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